


(swore I'd never lose control) then I fell in love with a heart that beats so slow

by flustraaa



Series: the one where they're soulmates [8]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Confused Magnus Bane, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Gen, Injured Alec Lightwood, M/M, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, The first i love u’s, They’re so in love don’t touch me, look at me gooooo, update unnamed character now has a first name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 14:38:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19814371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flustraaa/pseuds/flustraaa
Summary: “i mean, of the two people most perfect for me, you were the one. i don’t want two soulmates, i only want you.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> after reading let me know if you want the exact story that Alec tells Magnus in a second chapter or not because i didn’t feel like writing it tonight so i was vague but i can write it if you want to see it.

Magnus wakes up to laboured breathing from besides him, and it jolts him into an alertness that he hadn’t known existed. 

He first realises, that Alec’s head is turned towards him, body warped at the waist in pain as he grips the sheets with his fingers

And then, he notices the jagged scar, skin puffy and red, running from Alec’s temple to the edge of his jaw. 

“Oh my god,” Magnus mutters, resting a hand on his soulmates chest, unsure of how this happened, before becoming increasingly concerned about Alec’s well-being. “Alec. Alec wake up.” 

But Alec doesn’t budge, and Magnus can feel sweat creasing his temple and he can feel his hands shaking against the cotton that lines Alec’s chest and shoulders.

At once, it’s over. Alec lurches foreword, coughing as the scarred skin sinks back down to where it was. Magnus watches as his other half grasping at his temples, a raw sob tearing its way from his throat. 

His lips form Alec’s name— searching for any assurance that Alexander is okay. Alec’s breaths escape his lips in heaves pants, and Magnus can tell he’s trying to calm himself down— though he can’t catch any actual intelligible words. 

Alec jumps when Magnus hand moves to rest on the tissue above his spine and between his shoulder blades. He mutters a few colourful curses, before relaxing back into Magnus. 

“What—“ Magnus starts, only to be immediately abridged. 

“In a minute,” Alec rasps, a choked breath leaving his lips, as he rests back down against the pillows, eyes fluttering shut and he nuzzles against Magnus unapologetically

Not that Magnus minds in the slightest. 

A brief moment lapses by before Alec finds his words, still holding Magnus’ hand above his beating heart.

“He’s dead,” Alec mumbles hoarsely, resting the crook of his elbow over his eyes. 

“Who?” Magnus asks, softly. 

“My soulmate.” 

Magnus’ heart stutters to a halt in his chest, “ _Pardon_?” 

“I have two,” Alec whispers, voice catching and cracking on every new consonant, “It’s a long story.” 

And despite the pain that burns in Magnus chest, he nods, pressing a soft kiss to his loves temple before sussurating, “I have time.” 

“Are you sure?” Alec questions, sounding genuinely concerned. 

“More than,” Magnus assures him gingerly, sending a quick text to his boss with his free hand, “I’m suddenly run down with food poisoning.” 

And despite the circumstances, Alec chuckles quietly, before beginning his story. 

“So... he was married?” Magnus ponders aloud, watching as Alec plays with the rings on his fingers to steady himself. 

Alec nods against his chest, hair brushing Magnus’ neck, “A year— almost to the day before I met you. I woke up on my nineteenth birthday with hickies covering my body and a size too tight ring indentation on my finger.” 

They lapse into silence, and it’s only when Alec takes in a shuddering breath— one that signifies that Alec has more than he lets on roaming in his head that Magnus urges him foreword. 

“Alexander,” Magnus states, voice low and comforting, “What are you not telling me?” 

“That’s... uh, that’s why I ran. from you,” He adds the second stanza detachedly, “I was so scared that I would be hurt again that I didn’t want to meet you.” 

“Oh my god,” Magnus blurts, eyes wide as he glances down at his soulmate, “You didn’t think to—“ 

He can see the fear swelling in Alec’s chest at the sudden change of pace, and he forces himself to take deep breaths before proceeding, words calmed. 

“You could’ve told me— I would’ve never treated you...” He can feel the disapproving look that Alec is no doubt burning into the wall, so he ceases his words, wrapping his arms just a hair more tightly around Alec, “I... I just want you to know, that I love you, and if you’re not ready for me to say that I understand but—

“Magnus?” Alec truncates Magnus words, before glancing up at him, “I love you. So much.” 

And Magnus isn’t quite sure how they went from an hour long anecdote about Alec’s other soulmate to making out as golden rays flood through the curtains. 

But be aware, that Magnus is more than fateful for the turn of events.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys wanted it so here is the promised plot line of alecs soulmate— he finally has a name! woooooo! lemme know if you guys wanna see the nightmare/scene Alec saw before he woke up. alright, peace.

“The morning I turned thirteen, I remember thinking I would never have a soulmate— and the next day there was a pain in my lower torso during soccer practice and I had to stop,” He pauses, hand still clasped tightly around Magnus but his eyes are million miles away, “Johansson called me a wimp but coach told me to check because I never showed any signs of pain— not even when I broke my arm on the goal post during a game.” 

He licks his lips, blinking a few times before shaking his head and continuing on, “Your mark had yet to come come— it didn’t appear until what would’ve been your... fifteenth birthday? But I always thought it belonged to _Hudson_.” 

“Was that?” Magnus asks slowly, unable to finish his sentence. 

“His name?” Alec asks slowly, returning to the room for a moment and looking at his love before nodding, “Yeah.” 

“You met him?” 

Alec shakes his head, biting his bottom lip, “No... but the story about seeing your soulmate’s death... it’s true. There was a girl screaming his name when he was fading, his name was Hudson.” 

“Alec, I’m so sorry,” Alec only moves foreword, negating the apology. 

“I’m here with you. That all that matters.” 

And despite the sadness in Alec’s tone, he feels warmth in his chest. 

“Anyways,” He mumbles, closing his eyes with a furrowed brow, “I lifted my shirt and there was this gnarly scar that ran from my lower abs to my hip and I remember the gasps from everyone on the team. Suddenly, I was an _oddity_ because I had a soulmate.” 

He shakes his head, closing his eyes, “I remember someone said, ‘ _your chick is wild_ ’ and I remember wanting to scream because if there was _anything_ I knew— it was that Hudson was, in fact, a boy. But I just nodded along.” 

Magnus nods, brushing the hair from Alec’s eyes as he struggles through his words, and while envy creeps beneath his veins, he’ll never be able to _imagine_ how this must _feel_ for Alec.

as much as they fought at one point, Magnus would never be able to find forgiveness in himself if he had never gotten to know Alec before he realised their tether to one another. 

“I always thought that would be the last time but Hudson was one _clumsy_ son of a bitch let me tell you. When I was fourteen I felt my arm snap in the middle of math class—“ he snorts, “Doctor Blakemore was flipping her shit because my arm went from bending the wrong way to being completely fine— that was kinda funny.” 

He sighs heavily, closing his eyes before continuing, “When I was sixteen there was a huge scar from the bottom of my ribs to the top of my hip. When I was eighteen my entire body was black and blue from running into things— possibly falling down a set of stairs.” 

And then he pauses, and his hand finds his left ring finger, biting the inside of his cheek before he closes his eyes once more, “When I was nineteen though, I woke up with hickies littering my body and a ring and everything changed. He’d married someone and for years I wondered why I wasn’t _good enough_ for him to find me. _Maybe_ he was _impatient_?” 

“Alexander,” Magnus breathes, tucking two warm fingers beneath his chin to draw cerulean eyes to his own, “My _love_ , you are _more than worth_ the wait, let me _assure_ you.”

The smile that quirks up the corners of Alec’s lips truly make the statement worth the moment of trepidation that wanders in Magnus’ head. 

_I love you_ , Magnus thinks, _and you need to know that._


End file.
